X-File

Only bottoms sleep beneath the top sheet – This hot take has been in my drafts for over year and I still don’t know how I feel about it.

Just seen some graffiti that says “Lupin Horse”. Looking for any further info anyone can provide about this mare of mystery.

Piddle talk, the conversation that takes place after a really intimate interaction with the loo. Asparagus is often involved.

Had the person who supplied the dead cats for Midnight Mass ever seen a real cat before? My word, they’d seen a dog though…

I knew I was an adult when I stopped using the tiny straws to drink my Yakults and just started downing them in one go like a real man.

I derive no sense of enjoyment from it, I simply must chew the furniture!

There are some guys who have a full head of hair but give off the vibe of someone whose lost every follicle on their head. They possess a sort of figurative baldness.

New concept: wicker pants. Great in the summer time, very breathable. Still trying to work out how to move in them.

I love when men refuse to invest in straps/handles in case it looks like they have a handbag. Fear not sir, I think your massive clutch is very manly and compliments your shoes spectacularly.

Keep forgetting I’m listening to the Spotify AI DJ. I’ll be deep in an emotional journey through my highschool years and then suddenly there is a strange man yelling at me about Nine Inch Nails.